WE JUST GOT THIS LETTER:
Mr Gérard POUDEVIGNE 3 JUIN 2012
3, rue Germaine Mercier
Being by nature curious and creative, so my neighbors tell me, today I allow myself to submit my latest invention that will, I’m quite sure, revolutionize our noble art of Fly Fishing and I count on your legendary generosity for monetary assistance.
I have to start by telling you that a few years ago (how quickly time passes) I had both of my arms torn off as I was cutting tulips for my wife. I won’t linger on the subject I am, in fact, incapable of recounting it considering that the bitch left me 3 weeks later.
It was this bit of unfortunate bad luck that pushed me to develop the remarkable idea of setting an artificial fly at the desired spot without the need of my poor hands (that are now in a glass jar on the mantle in the living room). You can judge for yourself the simplicity of my solution.
With the aid of the modern technology of miniaturization and with the help of my little nephew Mimmi, I created an artificial fly remotely controlled with my mouth (have you noticed, as I have, how little this organ is used these days?) Once the fish is located, it’s child’s play to set the lure just before the nose of the gluttonous animal. As you can guess, the rest is 1, 2, 3: hop! into my landing net.
With a pleasure that is always fresh and intense, I remain your devoted reader etc., etc.
Thank you very much for your missive filled with passion and a humanism that honors you. However, please understand that what you have “discovered”, while not devoid of charm, has already been fine-tuned and used with brilliance by our comrade Vilmo while he was still in short pants in kindergarten (and that wasn’t yesterday).
At the very moment that we write you, our team of technicians and numerous scientists (recently escaped from a work camp operated by an extremist group of fly fishing adversaries) are in one of our secret laboratories in the Massif Central, putting the finishing touches on an invention so audacious that it will soon make anything else, even yours, seem a vulgar, provincial gadget.
As early as this coming spring, we at the Mouching, will release on the market our “DRONE FISHING”; not only does it locate the least little trout from outer space but, without the trout even having time to realize it, captures and sends the trout to your plate cooked to perfection… “au beurre blanc” accompanied by tiny roasted potatoes and a thin slice of lemon.
You have to concede that is really something else!
Our kindest regards etc. …