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We just received this intoxicatingly perfumed letter that was covered with lipstick smacks; the message was quite clear.
Dear Mouching,
Let me introduce myself. I am Olga Delamarine. The press was unanimous in calling me “La belle kangourou de l’opera d’Aubenas 07” because I am able, with my leaps and acrobatics, to fly across impossible distances.
Last week an employee of the postal service, a charming young girl in her yellow car, delivered a package that contained a pair of JMC wading shoes. Surely, I thought, an error on the part of the overworked postal bureau, because in fact I had ordered a pair of ballet shoes to perform that night for, as usual, my amazed, loyal fans.
But playing along, I decided to try on the wading shoes. They were so light and they were so comfortable that I refused to take them off; that very same night I danced “The Timid Perch” and “the Adulterous Black Bass” for an audience wildly enthusiastic over this unusual performance.
The next day the newspapers reported my triumph and since that day all the ballet students in the county are wearing JMC shoes. And, with their pink “tutus”, they are admired by all the farmers and retirees of our lovely country. What’s more, thanks to the magnificent non-slip soles, no more uncontrolled sliding, slipping and other on-stage accidents.
Oh! If only Rudolf Nureyev had known about JMC, he surely wouldn’t have finished his career teaching at the county dances, or being a gigolo in the Old Folks Home in Limoges! As my mother said “It’s a shame”! And she was right!
(Boy, if this text is not high-powered advertising, I’ll be hanged!)