Packed like sardines in their can, the poor beasts were in a space so reduced that it was like an overcooked sauce. How could anyone live in those conditions? I ask you! The cads who set them into these awful, oily coffins didn’t even bother to pierce a few air holes to assure minimal air for breathing. The death of these poor beasts was certainly slow and filled with sufferance. An accident? No sir! I assure you that it was an assassination, pure and simple!
To tell you about the state of anger and frustration in which I found myself would easily take the space of a telephone book for the entire region of Paris. I’ll spare you that.
But, knowing your integrity and having heard of your ability to “pull a few strings” in the new government, I would be obliged if you used your influence to put an end to this scandal, which could only damage our reputation as a civilized nation.
Sincerely yours, Gilles EDELAYNE
Dear devoted reader,
Being, at this very moment, occupied in creating a brief to defend filets of mackerel, we find ourselves unable to engage in your poignant predicament with the sardines. Maybe you should knock at the gracious doors of our friends at Gobages.com who, like you, love these charming little beasts which should be defended at any price (Ah! How things were different under the old administration).